Getting above the clouds, Kidshaper 2014.

I took this photo on my way home from Melbourne on Saturday. I took it because it was a beautiful view of sunshine and fluffy white clouds (I haven't seen that sunshine since being back in Sydney!!), but in reflecting over the past week I think this image represents a lot more. I was above the clouds, soaring high, and that's how i've felt since coming home from Kidshaper conference. It's more than just a post conference high, something significant has shifted in me and it's taken me a few days of processing and journalling to be able to articulate exactly what has changed. You see there have been clouds in my head for the past 39 years, clouds of self doubt and insecurity, clouds that made me second guess every decision I ever made, clouds that made me feel inadequate if everything wasn't perfect, clouds that overwhelmed me, that made my stomach churn and my head swim in a constant state of crippling anxiety over everyday things..... and they are gone.

I have a sense of peace that certainly passes my understanding and a boldness i've never known before. I am confident in just being me, confident in who God made me to be, confident that I am enough in God and that not having the answers is ok because He does have them. I have never felt peace like this before. Even in the midst of some very hard days lately with my teenage son I have been amazed at how I was able to stay calm, ask God for help and respond well, it would not have happened like that a couple of weeks ago. I saw some differences on the last day of Kidshaper, such as stepping out to pray for people I didn't know and worshipping down the front jumping and dancing around with a freedom I have never felt before, but i've noticed it more since coming home to my real life. I am different and it is all God!!!!

And you know what, that's not even all of what God did. I came home with pages and pages of notes from the sessions and could probably talk for hours about all the things God spoke to me about. I have never been to a conference where every single session and speaker impacted me so profoundly. The conference was for kids pastors and leaders and I learnt a lot of practical stuff for kids ministry, but it was so much more than that as it focused on 'building something of worth' which starts in your own foundations and your family. I feel like my foundations were literally rebuilt over the 3 days and that I was equipped with the tools I need to now keep building on those foundations, both in my life and family and in ministry with kids and my team. I am so excited and expectant for the future and what life could look like now that those clouds are gone!!!

I also had a lot of fun in Melbourne. I loved exploring the city and sampling too much yummy food and it was great to be able to meet other kids leaders from all over Australia to not just share tips and ideas but to be part of a community of people passionate about kids ministry. I felt understood, like I found 'my people' and that alone would've been worth going for.

I am so grateful to be part of a church and a team that sees potential in people and not only releases them to pursue their passions but also equips them on that journey. The best is definitely yet to come!!